I Killed The Devil

I Killed The Devil My name is Virginia Friedrich. I’m from Germany, but moved to America when I was young. Living in America has been a challenge, but I like it very much. People are going through tough times these days. With America going to  war against Hitler and the Nazis, it has been hard on all of us. Women are stepping up, and working what would normally be a job for a man. Supporting America and our troops is important, but I don’t want to work in a factory. Ever since coming to America, I have dreamed about serving this beautiful country. As of right now, the military will not allow women to fight, but that is not going to discourage me; I will find a way to fight.

 

Don’t depend on the enemy not coming; depend rather on being ready for him.

-Sun-tzu, The Art of War (fourth century B.C.)

 

Joining the Women Air force Service Pilots (WASP) was the best decision that I’ve ever made in my life. It’s a dream come true for me, and now I’m one step closer to joining the fight against pure evil, and the devil himself: Hitler. Training was very difficult, but rewarding in the same sense. Completing training, and finally getting to pilot an aircraft was very surreal to me. In addition to my pilot training, I have taken it upon myself to take a firearms course. I’m taking no chances, and with my appearance and physique (I’m brunette, have blue eyes, and a medium build). I will most certainly be overpowered in a hand-to-hand combat scenario. Firing a gun for the first time was empowering to me. Now that my training is complete, I must turn my attention to Hitler and the Nazi’s.  “We’re sending out a team to kill that bastard Hitler,” said General Warren.

“That’s great, sir, but why are you telling me this?” I asked General Warren.

“Because you’re the best damn pilot we have, and I’m gonna need the best for this mission,” said General Warren.

“Well, I’m very honored for this opportunity, sir. What exactly is going to happen?” I asked  General Warren in a nervous tone.

“You’re gonna pilot a team, and touch down outside of Berlin, and you’re gonna be on standby until they finish the job,” said General Warren while he lit a cigarette.

“And what if anything goes wrong, sir?” I asked General Warren.

“Then you are to abort the mission, and get back to base immediately. Do not disobey orders,” General Warren told me in a stern voice.

“Yes, sir” I told General Warren with an intense look upon my face.

“We’re gonna kill that son of a bitch. I trust you to do this mission, Friedrich. Don’t fuck this up. You, and the rest of the team will be briefed in 0600 hours,” said General Warren.

“I won’t let you down and thank you for this opportunity, sir. You will not regret this,” I told General Warren with as much confidence that I could muster.

 

You know, I am sure, that not numbers or strength brings victory in war; but whichever army goes into battle stronger in soul, their enemies generally cannot withstand them.

-Xenophon (430?-355? B.C.)

 

After General Warren told me about the mission, I was terrified. Yes, I want to destroy Hitler and the Nazi’s, but now that it’s quickly becoming a reality–I’m going through all sorts of different emotions. As you could imagine, I did not sleep, and the only thing that kept my mind off things was a “Captain America” comic book that I’ve read countless times. Reading the comic book when I was younger, I would imagine that it was me who was the hero and that I would save the day. Now I get that chance, and I will make my country proud. Before I knew it, it was close to 0600 hours. Tired and nervous, I made my way to the briefing room. Standing front and center was General Warren, and in the seats before him were six men. As I made my way to my seat, I tried to make out who the men were, but I could not recall. “Men. I’d like to introduce you to Pilot officer Virginia Friedrich. She’ll be your pilot for this mission, and she’s the best we have,” General Warren said in a booming tone. “Virginia, these men are NCDUs (Naval Combat Demolition Units), and they’ll be accompanying you on this  mission. These men are highly trained, and they’re ready for anything and everything. Just make sure that these men get safely on the ground, and they’ll take care of the rest,” General Warren told me as he reached for his pack of cigarettes.

“Yes, sir,” I replied back to General Warren.

“Good. Now let’s go over the mission,” said General Warren. After the briefing, the NCDUs introduced themselves to me, and expressed their approval of me on this mission. “We’re gonna fry this piece of shit. Don’t worry, Virginia, everything is gonna be alright. You’re with the best team that the US military has to offer,” Gary told me. “Yeah. You just get us there in one piece, and we’ll take care of business,” Mark exclaimed to me. The other four NCDUs were quiet, and going over the mission details. It’s go time now, and no turning back. Suddenly, I felt a huge surge of calmness and confidence throughout my body. This is what I’ve been training for and that night– I had the best sleep that I’ve ever had.

 

A priest asked the dying Spanish statesman and general Ramon Maria Narvaez (1800-1868), “Does your Excellency forgive all your enemies?” I do not have to forgive my enemies,” answered Narvaez, “I have had them all shot.”

 

It was eerily silent in the hangar when I arrived with my team. General Warren was standing in front of a near invisible aircraft that I could not make out. “Like your new aircraft?” General Warren told us as we were getting closer to him.

“General, what is it?” asked Mark.

“This thing is a beauty, isn’t she?” General Warren replied back to Mark. “This aircraft has been engineered specifically for this mission. As you can see, it’s barely visible to the naked eye. This will give you an advantage when you cross over into enemy lines. Inside you’ll find your ammo, gear, etc. If anything goes wrong on this mission, push the red button on the control panel, and the aircraft will self-destruct in ten seconds. You’ve all been carefully selected to carry out his mission. I have faith that you will get the job done. Good luck team, and may God be with you all.

 

You must make your opponent acknowledge defeat from the bottom of his heart.

-Miyamoto Musashi (1584-1645)

 

As we were coming up on the drop zone, I started to get tense all over my body, and I could feel my adrenaline pulsating  through my fingertips. All of a sudden, the control panel started to go on and off. Tapping on the screen with my fingers, the control panel showed that the invisibility feature was partially working. “Shit,” I shouted out.

“What’s going on, Virginia?” asked Mark.

“The control panel is screwing up,” I told Mark.

Then, out of nowhere, BOOM! Our aircraft had been hit, and I was desperately trying to gain control of it, but I just couldn’t. Smashing into the ground, my body was violently rocked by the crash. Then I started to hear bullets zip by and pierce the aircraft.

“Is everyone okay?” I shouted to the back.

“Three of our men are down. Stay right where you are, Virginia,” replied Mark. Just as Mark answered me back, heavy artillery started to pound our aircraft. “Hold on!” Mark shouted to me. Unbuckling my seat belt, I crouched down beside my seat. Outside I could go see four Nazi officers firing away, and coming towards us. Hearing a pin being pulled, I saw a grenade being launched into the air. Before it hit the ground, Mark started to fire away with his machine gun at the Nazi’s, shooting three of the four Nazi’s. A loud bang was heard, followed by dirt being lifted up from the ground. The remaining Nazi officer was still coming towards us, but clutching his stomach. He was bleeding profusely, and then I saw Mark on the ground, clutching his arm and screaming in pain. The Nazi officer was laughing as he approached the aircraft. Before he could raise his gun, Mark shot the Nazi officer right in the head. Now it was just the two of us. Crawling out of the aircraft, I rushed to Mark.

“We have to get you out of here, Mark,” I said.

“No. It’s up to you now, Virginia,” Mark said to me, withering in pain.

“There has to be something that we can do,” I said.

“There is. Kill that bastard. You can do it, Virginia. You’re trained for this. Don’t hold back, and finish the job. When you get back to the States, tell my wife that I love her very much,” Mark said to me, choking up blood. And before I could reply, he was gone. It was up to me now to end this. I grabbed my gear and whatever ammo I could find. Before I made my trek to Berlin, I donned a Nazi uniform for camouflage purposes. There was no time for me to be scared now.

 

To have ultimate victory, you must be ruthless.

Napoleon Bonaparte, 1769-1821

 

Berlin was such a chaotic scene as I arrived. Bombs were raining from the sky, gunfire erupted everywhere, soldiers were running all over the place, and then I saw it: Hitler’s Führerbunker. Scanning the area, I decided to make my move to a half-open door to the Führerbunker. Running as fast I could manage, I made it inside. My adrenaline was through the roof as I shut the door. Walking through the hallway was extremely nerve-wracking, and when I turned a corner, there was a Nazi officer coming towards me. “Was machen Sie hier?” (What are you doing here?) the Nazi officer asked me, as he pulled out his pistol. I didn’t answer him, and I kept walking towards him. “Wer bist du?” (Who are you?) the Nazi officer asked me. Again, I didn’t answer him. The Nazi officer then rushed me, and without thinking about it, I pulled my knife out of my sleeve, and threw it at the officer. The knife stuck right in the Nazi’s throat, blood spilling out like a red wine being slowly poured. I looked him right in the eyes and said, “Fich dich” (Fuck you). Coming to the end of the hallway, there were two big wooden double doors. Before opening the doors, I took a deep breath. Pushing open the double doors, I stepped in with my pistol drawn. The room was a mess, and I out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a woman swallowing something, but I couldn’t make it out. Then I heard a loud cry, followed by banging. A man stood up beside the woman, with his eyes locked onto me. I was looking at the devil himself: Hitler.

Drawing his gun towards me, he said, “Sprechen Sie Deutsch?” (Do you speak German?)

“Ja.” (Yes)

With tears streaming down his eyes, Hitler pointed at the woman and shouted to me, “Wissen Sie, wer diese Frau ist?” (Do you know who this woman is?)

“Keine.” (No)

Shaking his gun at me, Hitler said, “Das ist meine Frau! Schauen Sie, was Ihr Land getan hat!” (This is my wife! Look at what your country has done!)

Hitler’s wife was foaming at the mouth now, and she was shaking uncontrollably. “Sie ist wegen dir tot!” (She’s dead because of you!)

“Du bist ein Monster” (You’re a monster) I said.

“Du dummer amerikanischer bitch! Weißt du überhaupt, was Sie?” (You stupid american bitch! Do you even know what you’re fighting for?) Hitler told me.

As Hitler looked down at his wife, I raised my pistol at him and said, “Ich weiß genau, was ich zu kämpfen. Brennen in der Hölle!” (I know exactly what I’m fighting for. Burn in hell!). I pulled the trigger, and shot Hitler right in the forehead. As he fell down, I rushed to look him in the eyes. I wanted to watch the devil himself die. Looking into Hitler’s eyes, I felt a sense of calmness come over me. It was finally over, and I completed the mission. Tired and worn down beyond belief, I sat down in a chair. Next to me was a bottle of wine. I poured myself a glass and after drinking a little bit, I took the Nazi coat off of me, and draped it over Hitler’s body. Opening the door to exit to the outside, I saw a bunch of soldiers running in my direction. They were American. One of the soldiers came up to me and asked, “What the hell happened here?”

I replied, “I killed the devil.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PEDs

Image Credit: Jay Silva via fiverr.com
Image Credit: Jay Silva via fiverr.com

The year is 2020. Professional sports are in peril, and a new plan is in place to re-energize fans all across the world. Billionaires and multimillionaires alike, are looking to own professional sports teams, but commissioners around professional leagues have shut them down. With nowhere left to turn, two billionaires will shape the future of professional sports. Avid baseball fans and billionaires, Oliver Steel and Mark Motor, form a professional baseball league. With the help of European doctors and scientists, Oliver and Mark develop a cutting edge steroid named “BFS” (Bigger, Faster, Stronger). After announcement of their new baseball league, throngs of prospects flock to tryouts throughout America. Charlotte, NC; Albuquerque, NM; Las Vegas, NV; and Nashville, TN–have all agreed to build stadiums and form teams in their respective cities. A new era of professional sports is underway, one with excitement and only one question remains: How long will it last?

1st Inning

Professional baseball players are fast, strong, and agile but no player compares to twenty-year-old top prospect Jared Heisenberg. A physical specimen and a five tool player, Jared Heisenberg’s life is about to change. The Albuquerque Stallions have agreed to sign Jared to a 12-year, 650M dollar contract. Albuquerque Stallions owner and co-commissioner of the league, Oliver Steel, is under scrutiny from media outlets all over the world. Top sports journalist Terry Mann has landed an exclusive interview with Oliver Steel–to gain insight and knowledge of this new steroid driven baseball league. “Mr. Steel, how did you and Mark Motor get the idea to form a new baseball league?”
“Well Terry, Mark and I were tired of how professional sports were shying away from PEDs and various other supplements being used in locker rooms all across the US. So, we came up with an idea to implement the use of steroids, but have it under our control. We’re not shy about backing steroids in our league. Athletes these days are trying anything and everything to get an edge on the competition. What we provide–is an even playing field, so there is no discrepancy or controversy of what’s going on in our league.

“And how are you gonna deal with the backlash from the media, parents, and coaches across the country?” Terry asks Mr. Steel.

“Again Terry, people have to understand that professional sports is not as innocent as they may think it is. I can’t speak for Mark (Motor), but our league is fair and our steroid BFS–has been developed by the top doctors and scientists in Europe, to ensure the safety of our players. Our athletes have nothing to hide, and they can go on and play the game that they love with no distractions.” Oliver Steel tells Terry Mann, while sipping a bottle of water.

“Great answer Mr. Steel,” says Terry (with a smirk on his face). “But have you tested BFS on anyone, and do you know the long-term effects of this particular steroid?” Terry asks Mr. Steel with a cold, hard stare.

While drinking out of his bottled water again, Mr. Steel tells Terry, “BFS is safe and effective. We’ve had trial periods, where our test subjects performed at a high level, and had recovered exceptionally well with the tests we put them through. Athletes are more than welcome to try their luck with other professional leagues, but I guarantee that they’ll have a better chance, and a better career playing ball in our league.”

Putting away his notebook, Terry asks one final question to Mr. Steel, “what are you and Mr. Motor trying to prove, ultimately?”

Taking the last sip of his bottled water, Mr. Steel smiles and answers Terry, “That we can, and will–take over professional sports. Baseball is just the beginning.”

2nd Inning

Spring training is underway all across the nation, and players are getting accustomed to their teams and new drug policies enforced in the new league. The first game in spring training puts two juggernaut teams up against each other. The Albuquerque Stallions will face the Detroit SkullCrushers. With the game a month away, Jared Heisenberg is training relentlessly and is approached by his former teammate and second baseman Jamal Collins.

“Damn Heisenbeg, you’re looking like you’re in mid-season form.” quipped Collins.
“Hey, I have something to prove out here,” said Heisenberg after crushing a baseball over the fence during BP (batting practice).
“Yeah, I hear you. Where did you play ball at”?
“I played ball at New Mexico Junior College,” after ripping a ball down the third base line.
“Really”? Collins answered back with a confused expression on his face. “The way you’re slugging the ball, I would’ve guessed somewhere else,” Collins shot back after taking a few practice swings with his bat.
“Hey, I didn’t have the grades to go to a big school, so going to Junior College was my only option,” said Heisenberg after popping up a fly ball.
“No shame in that, man. Hell, I went to UCLA and sucked it up there.”
“Bullshit,” Heisenberg said with a smirk on his face. “I’ve seen you play, and you’re the real deal.”
“Ha-ha. You’ve seen me with my glove, not with a bat in my hands,” shouted Collins.
“I still call bullshit,” laughs Heisenberg. “Did you take BFS yet”?
“Yeah, I took a small dose this morning before I came out here.”
“What do you think about it”? asks Heisenberg.
“Honestly, I hope it makes me better at the plate. I’m already a speed demon, so I don’t need help in that department, but If I can smack a few home runs–I’ll be satisfied. Now get your ass outta that cage, man. It’s my turn to see what this steroid can do for me.”
“It’s all yours, bro.” says Heisenberg, as he’s stepping out of the batting cage. “I’m gonna set every record in the book once my playing days are over,” said Heisenberg with a laser focus look on his face.
“That’s a good attitude to have, man. And you know what’s gonna be the best part about setting records in this league”? asks Collins.
“What’s that”? Heisenberg shoots back.
“There won’t be an asterisk next to the records that you set,” Collins tells Heisenberg after hitting a weak grounder to first base.

3rd Inning

Detroit, MI. A city that has had its share of meltdowns, both in the economic and sports world–is filled with excitement, as the announcement of the Detroit SkullCrushers is presented by Mark Motor. With the announcement of his new team, Mr. Motor has appointed the most controversial player to have ever played the game as his manager of the Detroit SkullCrushers. Jack Staker, a six-time world series champion, three-time MVP, avid gambler, and now the manager of a baseball team and in a league accepting of steroids, is not exactly thrilled with where is life is going (currently). “You know the only reason why I accepted your offer, Mark?”
“Frankly, Jim, I don’t give a damn. I just want you to bring me a championship.” Mark Motor tells Jim, as he sits at his desk.
“No other league will even give me a chance. I’m not gonna bullshit you Mark, but this league is nuts. Steroids? Seriously? Someone can get real hurt here,” Jack tells Mark with intensity in his eyes.
“Jack, you pissed away your money and bet repeatedly throughout your playing career. Did you ever think that you were gonna get away with it, especially after what Pete Rose did?” Marks tells Jack with a grin on his face.
“C’mon Mark, you haven’t been a saint yourself,” Jack answers back with a mean scowl on his face.
“Look, I know you’re the right fit for this team and league. It’s gonna take some getting used to, but once you do–you’re gonna love it. Just get the guys ready to play everyday, and with the talent that this team has, the sky is the limit on what we can accomplish.”

4th Inning

With the approved steroid BFS being implemented into the New Generation League, baseball players have seen extraordinary results with their bodies and minds, respectively.Pitchers have seen an increase in velocity and speed with all of their pitches. 100mph fastballs are regular fastballs, as opposed to 95mph. Catchers have better reaction time, and their throwing accuracy/speed is pinpoint. Outfielders have been nicknamed “Captain Americas” with their power and speed that they now possess. Bloop singles are no longer a problem for these newly steroid-driven athletes. And, of course, batters are now more powerful than ever. Aside from their power, batters have better vision at the plate, and are able to recognize a pitch within hundredths of a second. Strikeouts are rarely witnessed, and home runs are an absolute beauty to watch. All is running like a well-oiled machine, but nothing good lasts forever.

5th Inning

The New Generation has begun with a lot of buzz and excitement across the country. Fans have seen batters crush 600 foot home runs, pitchers throwing 107mph, and outfielders making jaw-dropping plays to run down baseballs. But then something began to happen. Multiple injuries would occur during the game. Such as an outfielder tearing his ACL, while running down a bullet hit to the wall; pitchers snapping their elbows from the excessive velocity on their pitches; batters popping their shoulders out of their sockets after swinging violently at a pitch. While revenue is skyrocketing, the players’ health is declining at a rapid pace. With no union involved, players across the league are forced to make decisions on their own. Reports from several universities and doctors alike, are heeding warnings for the use of BFS, but league representatives are not listening. It’s a new era in the professional sports world. The New Generation League has become the new avenue for young players, and even for the aging veteran. Sparking debate across the nation, several organizations have tried to shut down the league, but to no avail. There’s a dark cloud looming, and it will change the way professional sports is perceived by the public.

6th Inning

“Mark, what the hell are we going to do? We’re in some deep trouble. Did you get the reports on BFS yet?”
“Yes, I did, Oliver. Look, you and I have invested too much in this league to just throw it all away,” Mark Motor tells Oliver over the phone.
“I know, but how much longer do you think we can hold on?” Oliver answers Mark back in a nervous tone.
“I’m not giving this up. I don’t give a damn what anyone tries to do. We’ve finally built something that will force other professional leagues to reconsider what they’re doing,” Mark says to Oliver in a growling voice.
“You’re right. I just keep wondering if we’re doing the right thing here, Mark.”
“Oliver, we’ve created a new avenue different from any other professional sports league on the planet. We’re in this for the long haul. Just be patient.”

7th Inning

It’s a long fly ball, aaaaaand it’s gone! Three run home run by Jared Heisenberg, and the Albuquerque Stallions lead the Detroit SkullCrushers, 3-1. “Jim, that was a laser to center field. The power that Heisenberg possesses is unreal.”
“You’re absolutely right, Dan. This kid is something special. I think that ball is still going.” quips color commentator Jim. As the game moved along–things started to happen. Injuries started to occur each inning, players start to get into heated arguments with their opponents, and umpires are confused on several calls. With the game spiraling out of control–fans start to get restless and head for exits. “Bases loaded, two outs for the SkullCrushers. Stepping up to the plate is Carlos Rodrigo. Carlos is 0-4 today, and he can win the game with one swing of the bat, Jim.”
“You got that right, Dan. It’s too bad the fans left early. If Rodrigo wins this game–this is gonna be one heck of a comeback.”
“Carlos takes his time to set up. The pitcher winds up, and it’s gonna be ball three. Full count now on Carlos Rodrigo. Things are really starting to get tense here, Jim.”
“You’re absolutely right about that, Dan. This is quite the 9th inning here.”
“Carlos is set at the plate. The pitcher stares into the catcher for the call.”
“It’s a fastball call right down the middle, Dan.”
“Here’s the pitch. . .Carlos makes good contact with the ball. It’s pretty deep, and Heisenberg is heading towards the fence. Heisenberg jumps over the wall and. . .he does not make the catch! SkullCrushers win the game! Carlos Rodrigo has won the game with a grand slam! Wow, Jim! That was incredible.”
“Incredible does not describe what we just witnessed, Dan. That was good hustle on Heisenberg’s part, but he comes up just a bit short. It’s just too bad nobody was here to see that. What a shame.”

8th Inning

While the “New Generation League” provided fans with a different take on sports–it just simply didn’t work. Fans got a chance to see the ugly side of sports, and while it was exciting and fun at times–the idea of steroid-powered athletes wore off with fans. “Well, Oliver, what’s the plan now?” asks Mark Motor.
“There is no plan, Mark. You and I have sunk so much money into this freak show. Hell, I knew we would be in the red the first season, but not this bad.”
“Agreed. How do you want to go about announcing the closing of the league?”
“We’ll make an announcement soon. It was fun while it lasted huh, Mark?”
“It was. I’ll call you in a few days. Let me know if you need anything.”
After the announcement of the “New Generation League” folding–questions arose from all types of media about the league, and how it ended up a failure.

9th Inning

When the “New Generation League” folded–it left a lot of players in a bind. Some were not in a good place financially, because of health care costs, some were banned from playing baseball anywhere else, and some suffered mental and physical trauma from the steroid “BFS.” Star player, Jared Heisenberg has granted one interview on his playing days in the New Generation League.
“What was your experience like while playing in the New Generation League?”
“It was great. Getting signed by the Albuquerque Stallions was a dream come true for me,” Jared Heisenberg tells reporter Alec Blair.
“Why did you not elect to go the traditional route in your baseball career. Certainly you’re a five tool player, and you would’ve received gracious offers from teams all over.”
“I know. My decision to go with the New Generation League was based upon fairness all over. From contracts to being able to take steroids–it was too good of an opportunity to pass up.” Jared tells Alec.
“Which brings me to my next question, Jared. Why did you want to take steroids?”
“Because in other baseball leagues and other sports–athletes take some form of a steroid. They may not get caught using, while another athlete will get popped for using the same steroid. It just didn’t make sense to me to go that route. I don’t care what people say. Taking a steroid is no different from taking any other supplement. You’re still cheating if you drink coffee in the morning, and your coworkers don’t.”
“Okay, but we’re talking about steroids here. You’re getting paid a good amount of money in this particular league, and you had no idea what BFS was gonna do to your body long-term.”
“Alec, you just don’t get it. I was well aware of the consequences while taking BFS, and you have to understand this: I’m an athlete. Things have changed drastically over the years with sports. There’s always gonna be cheating involved in any sport or league for that matter. The New Generation League was honest with its steroid use, and they didn’t hide anything from us. I’d rather play 5-6 years of baseball like a hall of famer–than be playing ball for 10-12 years just to put up good numbers and get recognition for it.”
“So, was it all worth it to you, Jared?”
“Absolutely,” Jared says to Alec while staring him down.

While Jared Heisenberg’s interview sparked a lot of outrage across the country–a new problem surfaced with the New Generation League. Studies and tests were done on the steroid BFS, and the findings were scary. The study concluded that players were at risk with long-term effects, mentally and physically. With these new reports, Oliver and Mark would not only be facing fines and lawsuits, but jail time as well. “Did you happen to read the reports on BFS, Oliver?”
“I did, Mark. You knew this was coming just as much as I did.”
“Well, now what?” Mark asks Oliver.”We’ll just sit tight, and let our lawyers deal with it.” Oliver tells Mark while he lights up a cigarette. “Mr. Steel, Don Fury is on the phone, and he would like to speak with you,” Oliver’s secretary April says over the intercom. After a few minutes with speaking with Don fury, Oliver hangs up the phone and looks stunned. “What’s going on, Oliver?” asks Mark. “That was Don Fury, the richest man in the world. He wants to invest in the New Generation League,” Oliver tells Mark in a still stunned state of mind. “What?” Marks says with a puzzled look on his face. “Yeah. He says that he’s gonna take of everything, and for us to get ready.”
“Get ready for what?” Mark asks Oliver. “I don’t know exactly, but I’m in. How about you?” Oliver shoots back at Mark. “This just got a whole lot more interesting. Are you kidding me? I’m definitely in.”